Happy
New Year
In February of 2018 I received an IV infusion of
the osteoporosis medication Reclast. As the year flew by, I tried not to think
much about it. I saw my doctor earlier this year and she had good news for me.
The results of my latest DEXA scan showed significant improvement in my bone
density. How much improvement you ask? Enough to prompt her to remove the word ‘Osteoporosis’
from my chart, that’s how much! She casually stated, “Well we don’t need this
in here anymore” and with a swift click of a mouse, Osteoporosis became a
memory.
Oh, and the news got better, no IV infusion this
year! A medication vacation was what she called it. But there was a catch, Osteoporosis
could come back. I would still need to mind my diet and exercise. I would still
need to repeat all the testing next year. There was no mention of a permanent medication
vacation. Of course there wasn’t.
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| Image: Pixabay |
Is
That All There Is?
My doctor had given me fantastic news and a medication vacation so why did I
feel like there should have been more? Simple, I want more. I want my medical
life to be easy. Actually, I want it to go away but that’ll never happen.
That’s the rub with chronic illness, it’s always there. Sometimes my illnesses are loud and
crazy and other times they are more of inconvenient annoyances. Regardless
of my health status, I’m constantly attending to my medical life.
Currently, I’m in the inconvenient and annoying phase. I have been off my Crohn’s meds for nine months and counting. I won’t have to think about osteoporosis medication for another year. On the surface it would appear I’m doing fairly well. Maybe so, but I still have appointments to make, blood to get drawn, and pee to collect. Sometimes I wonder what I would give to hear the words, “You’re all better and free to go, you never have to come back.” Sigh.
Currently, I’m in the inconvenient and annoying phase. I have been off my Crohn’s meds for nine months and counting. I won’t have to think about osteoporosis medication for another year. On the surface it would appear I’m doing fairly well. Maybe so, but I still have appointments to make, blood to get drawn, and pee to collect. Sometimes I wonder what I would give to hear the words, “You’re all better and free to go, you never have to come back.” Sigh.
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So
What, Now What?
It’s easy to get stuck in the cognitive
distortions of ‘all or nothing’ thinking. Negative thoughts are going to come
and I have discovered it’s best to just let them in. Not to accept them but to
challenge them! When I find myself wishing for a different life, I see it as a reminder
to flex my psychological muscles and use some adaptive thinking. I pause to ask
myself questions like:
Is this really true?
What is the evidence?
Is this helping me right now?
Is there another way to look at the situation?
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New
View
Running around for testing and treatment is not
the most glamourous use of my time but it is not the only thing I do. I’m able to work in my yard, go out with friends,
and get to the gym every so often. I’m also thankful to be ambulatory enough to
drive myself to my appointments as well. And while I’m not cured (and might never be); my health status has improved to a
point where I’m free of all medication. If that's the pay-off for all my running, I’ll take it!
“Everything
can be taken from a man but one thing… to choose one’s attitude in any given
set of circumstances…” –Victor Frankl
