Lately I’ve been feeling stressed about my
writing. Maybe I don’t write often enough. Maybe I don’t share on enough
platforms. Should I start tweeting? On top of this self-induced stress, I have
been dealing with feelings of pressure to click, like, support, and follow
other bloggers and guilt if I don’t subscribe to newsletters and join yet
another chronic illness support group. I am overwhelmed by my social media life
and I wonder how I let this happen.
The
Origins of My Cyber-life
On-line support groups can be a bit of a blessing
and a curse. When I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s I became ferociously
involved in the virtual world of illness specific chatrooms. I learned plenty
from my cyber friends and will always feel an abiding measure of gratitude for
their willingness to share and assure me I was not alone. Oh, there were trolls
back then and other nefarious types always at the ready to stir the pot but
they weren’t the norm and they were quickly stifled. Fast-forward 14 years: The
number of places on the internet for help and information has exploded and the
dark side of it all has kept pace.
“I’m
Tired, Tired of Playing the Game.” Lily Von Shtupp
Jumps to judgment seem to be more prevalent these
days. When you are doing well, you want to share and you also can’t sound like
a braggart (Do you even have a chronic
illness; why are you here?) And when you feel abysmal and want to cry, you
don’t want to come across as desperate or hopeless, even if it’s exactly how
you feel (Whoa dude, you need
professional help!) And heaven forbid you put it all out there only to be minimized or one-upped (That’s nothing;
listen to what happened to me!)
I’ve been involved with some stellar groups where cultivating
an atmosphere of practical support was their number one priority and I’ve
stumbled into just as many that are exhausting. The clinging to pseudo-science “cures” (ah
no, essential oils will not cure anything), relentless MLM (AKA pyramid
schemes) sales pitches, and typos can be too much to tolerate.
Then there are the unfortunate souls, stuck in the
past, unable to move on from old hurts despite receiving the advice and solace
they seek. So while it helps to know I’m not alone in my chronic illness
struggles, now that I know I’m not
alone, do I really need to stay engaged with people rehashing ancient miseries
or shilling for a MLM? I think not.
I’m
Chronically Ill, Not a Pawn
Join one group or write one story and the rest of
social media beats down your door looking for a piece of the action. My news feeds are non-stop full of ads; groups to join, pages to like, and
sketchy products to buy. I receive email alerts, pings, and notifications all
too often. If you like my page, I’ll like
yours. Visitors to your page haven’t heard from you for a while, write a story!
Others in your group are sharing, why not join in? Come see what you are
missing! You have unread notifications. Ugh!
I highly doubt some poor someone has been checking
my profile, searching for new content, and has sounded an alarm out of concern
for my well-being. Nope! Cleverly designed algorithms prompt me to get involved
and share. Website growth and strength depends on the generating of clicks. The
more members they have, the more clicks they get, the more sponsors they can
get, and that’s brings us to the real boss, money! Well I’ve had enough; I’ll share when I want to and with who I
want to! And there it is.
I’ll
Share When I Want to
As I was working through this piece, I recalled a similar
grappling session from last year. I re-read that post in hopes of rediscovering
my “Why.” Why did I start a blog? (the-process-is-the-goal) Re-reading my words of wisdom helped to ground
me and bring everything back into focus.
I
write because it helps me to sort my life.
I
write because it soothes me.
I’m
not creating a brand.
I’m
not looking for fans.
If
my words help another, I’m humbled.
It’s
none of my business what others think of me.
So I will write when the mood hits me and bid a
fond farewell to many of my on-line support groups and take a sabbatical from
the few I will stay in. Social media will not go dark because I decided to
leave a few groups, unfollow a few pages, and click a little less. I however,
will shine on.
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| All photos from Pixabay |
