Every day offers plenty of opportunities to get
angry, stressed or offended. When I think I have it all figured out, that’s
usually when I am at my most wrong.
Your
Arms Too Short to Box With God
During a recent appointment with my ophthalmologist,
I had an NF related question she couldn’t fully address. When she suggested I
make an appointment with the NF specialty clinic, I balked.
“Ugh, I haven’t been there in years! It takes
forever to get an appointment and they hardly ever run on schedule.”
She simply smiled and replied, “Well, it is a specialty clinic. Bring a book.”
(OK,
let me try something different)
“They tell me my NF is mild and insist on
scheduling me with the nurse practitioner. I rarely get to see the neurologist.”
“Kelly, your case is mild. I have patients with NF that are blind.”
(Let
me try one more thing)
“Not to mention a whole day will be shot, it’s a
two hour round trip, and parking sucks.”
She just gave me a shoulder shrug for that one.
I realized I had said too much and she wasn’t
having it. I think I apologized for taking up too much of her time as I was
leaving.
Drive
Angry
I seethed as I drove home. For starters, I
couldn’t bloody see! My eyes were dilated and the sun was blazing making
driving a bit sketchy but most of all, I was angry at myself. I had wasted
valuable appointment time ranting on about issues my doctor has no control over
and didn’t seem interested in listening to. And I apologized!
So I did what any irrational adult would do, I decided
to mock my doctor by repeating the words, “Bring
a book” in as many annoying voices as I could.
Still
Learning
After I had some time to calm down and reflect upon
the battle of wits I had with my doctor, I came to some realizations.
Nothing
is gained by turning a conversation into an argument.
All I had to say in response to her suggestion was, “Thank you, I will consider
that.” Why is offering up excuses and explanations such a hard habit to break? Sharing
my negative clinic experience served no constructive purpose. If I truly want
to take it up with someone, it will be with the clinic coordinator.
Minimalizing
how another person experiences life’s curve balls is never cool.
I am fully aware my case of NF is mild compared to some. Others have it worse,
I get it. But that doesn’t mean my concerns are not valid. Still, I need to
remember there will always be someone at the ready to remind me; I have no
control over that. I do however, have control over how I react and respond.
I
will never again apologize for taking up a doctor’s time; it’s my time as well.
They provide services I need and am willing to pay for. I’m not in the habit of
scheduling office visits because I’m lonely and feel like a chat.
I
don’t have to follow every suggestion a doctor makes.
If I went to see a new doctor every time a doctor told me to, I’d never have
any kind of life. Sometimes you got to break the chain of referrals. At the
moment, my NF isn’t much of a bother. I know my body and I’ll go when and if I
feel it would be of benefit. And yes, if I go I will most likely have to wait. I
guess I’ll bring a book.
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| All photos from pixabay |
